Day 1

As I wake up I feel the lack of your presence even more. It is Saturday. Our weekend. You are supposed to be home today. We wanted to have a bbq for Junior. I sigh and stare at Isaiah and Lael. Wondering how far you have traveled already I get out of bed.

Today I will keep myself busy. Busy cleaning. Busy doing laundry. Busy. Simply busy. I shudder because I am painfully aware of not having spent any time with the Lord in a while. What was I thinking? Not having an audience with the King Who is the only One to carry me through this right before you leave. I say my prayers and start the day.

Lael needs lotion for the diaper rash she has. On my way to the pharmacy the breaks seem to give out on me. Worried I pull up at a garage and ask them to have a look. He shakes his head and tells me that I can no longer drive the van because the breaks are iron on iron. I thank God for keeping us safe all this time in a vehicle that doesnt have any breaks. Now I have to wait until Tuesday to get the van back. I take it as the hand of God and trust that He has a reason why I can't leave right away to stay with my mother for a while. I call Oma and ask her to bring bags so I can clean the van out of all of our camping gear and trash we still have left. After filling four huge bags with our belongs the van is finally empty. 

Taking a break from the cleaning I sit outside and sigh to my mother " has it always been this hard or is it truly harder this time? I can't remember..?" She assures me it is always this hard. I am not convinced.

Thank God for Oma! She helps us get the pool cleaned out of the weird looking creatures that moved in while we were on our camping trip. I watch with Lael in my hands as they start a water fight with the hoses. The boys are shreeking and start laughing hysterically. Oma and Tyrell move the sandbox to make room for the pool where the sandbox used to stand. The swing still comes unhooked. I think we need to move the swingset.

I receive your message I AM SAFE. Thank you Lord.

Tonight I am looking forward to going to bed. It brings me a day closer to our reunion. And Lael who needs you to walk her around in order to go to sleep fell asleep soundly in my arms tonight. Thank you Jesus.